Etydhv

I have just started a research position (around 2.5 months ago) at a top-10 university. I am having my own funding and was initially quite excited about the opportunity, and did and do love my project.

I have some trouble with the mentorship, however, and the following things have happened so far:

• I was sitting across my mentor during one of the first meetings I had with him. I was not aware that because of my clothing (I had a rather loose-sitting shirt on) and the way I was sitting, one could see my décolleté. Although I understand that looking at other people is quite normal, not only did my mentor stare at my chest, he then also leaned back and laughed in an arrogant kind of tone. Although he has not done that anymore, he still looks at my body in quite discomforting ways (I see him staring at my backside, my waist etc.). At this point, I am spending my time thinking about what to wear when I meet with him to avoid such situations. Then I end up being bothered that this has become a concern of mine.




• I am the only woman in the group, and sexist jokes during weekly meetings are a thing. It seems that specifically, one of the students tries to cement his status by making jokes I would not like and that this student knows that the mentor will laugh along at these jokes (which he does loudest) which will also impact the relationship of me and the mentor in a negative way - which it does, though I see it as the mentor's responsibility to act differently. I have never been at a lab before where jokes about women's bodies were considered normal during meetings.




• When we discuss work from a female scientist, the tone is quite different than when work from a male scientist is discussed. Again, I am well aware that we all have biases. But the discussion of a female scientist's work became aggressive quite quickly, with the mentor saying things like "This work makes me so angry that I can't control my anger anymore". I haven't experienced such bursts of aggression towards male scientists, and his behavior shapes the overall environment of the lab, and aggressive behavior I experience from the students are in my opinion at least partly a consequence of his behavior.

Though I have never experienced such a thing before (and I worked in so called male-dominated environments a lot) I worry that if I change the lab, the next one is going to be just like this one. Then I also worry about my reputation in the tight-knit scientific community ("she is difficult to work with"). Last, I worry about repercussions from my current mentor.

What should I do?

Edit Thanks for the upvotes. In a situation where I feel incredibly isolated even this virtual sign of empathy means something.

First of all, not all research labs are like that. You can find better work environment elsewhere, perhaps even have luck in the same University.

The academic world, however, is extremely small, and people will talk behind your back. You can't fight that. One way to minimize this is to minimize amount of time you spend in the current group.

Hence, one of few options is update your resume and start looking for another job. Your current situation will not become better. One of the reasons is that you have no political capital (friends) to change it, and filing complaint will definitely make your life worse in the group forever.

While searching for new job, try to connect with local chapter of Women in Science or similar unofficial group. Major universities have those these days. Ask them for help and advice. Another contact is something like Office of Equity and Diversity. These people have seen your situation before and will give guidance.

When you get a new job offer, you might want to consider filing complaint with HR specifically naming your current group leader. Hopefully, university will pay attention and investigate.

Let me start by noting that this is an area I know something about. I collaborated on an assessment of climate issues in a prominent STEM department of a prominent university. Some of those issues revolved around gender generally and women particularly. So I may not have all the answers, but my response below is based on extensive interviewing of people at all levels and functions within the department, as well as people outside the department who had personal knowledge.

You have multiple options and a few preliminary decisions. The first step may be to decide what types and levels of risk you are willing to assume. Are you willing to have your name out there, assuming (as one probably can) that your identity will be generally protected but probably known to a few. It sounds like you’re past your qualifying exams; if not, though, then consider whether they’re conducted anonymously or not. Among other considerations.

The second step may be to decide whether you are more interested--or whether it would be more effective--to address your situation specifically or the situation of a woman in STEM at your institution.

Then you have different paths you can choose. They are not mutually exclusive.

You could go to the press; but there are several reasons not to, at least at the stage you described. You could go to or start a Women in STEM organization or publication; probably a good idea to consider generally, but I don’t know enough about your situation to know whether or how it would help or hinder in the short term.

You could go to the administration of whatever university division your program is within—for example, and I’m making this up, the Dean of the College of Science and Technology. The message there could be the experience generally of women in STEM. You could expore/request/demand training or an assessment or whatever makes sense for you, the department, and the university.

You could file a complaint with whatever office the school calls the people who know about and investigate issues of diversity and inclusion. My experience with people who have filed complaints in situations similar to your is limited, but, among those with whose situations I am somewhat familiar, there was no reprisal while they were still in their programs. Some were enabled to transfer groups/mentors.

You could go to your department head, or have a meeting with the department head and your mentor. This can be an effective step, but you might consider whether there’s someone from the diversity/inclusion office or another university resource to accompany you.

Going to the department head could be a good first step, if you feel you can do it. Going to the next up administration could also be a good early step. I don’t know enough about the relevant circumstances to offer more specific guidance.

Good luck.

I'd suggest changing labs as soon as you can. It's understandable that you're afraid of the next lab having the same problems, but based on your previous experience there's a good chance it will be better, and at any rate you know for sure that the current one is a problem. Once you're at a new position you'll be in a safer situation to decide whether you want to make a report about the old lab. Hopefully in the new position you'll have a new mentor who can protect you professionally, and advise you about your decision whether to report. I don't think you need to make things harder for yourself to go through any reporting at the same time you're trying to find a new job.

If this is in USA, your university has a very serious problem. Your description of your work environment definitely rises to the level of workplace harassment prohibited by law. By allowing it to continue your university opens themselves up to all kinds of liability, not to mention serious risks to their reputation.

(Not to mention the personal risks to you, and the unpleasantness of your work environment.)

You should, at a minimum, find the sexual harassment policy of your institution and read it. You can find it possibly online, and possibly by asking somebody in human resources (the folks who handle your paycheck and vacation, etc).

After you read it, you probably will know how to file a complaint. You can decide whether to do that.

Keep in mind that retaliating against a person who files a sexual harassment complaint is also very seriously illegal.

I am writing this answer already feeling the down-votes coming.

There are several things I can express regarding your post:

I was sitting across my mentor during one of the first meetings I had
with him. I was not aware that because of my clothing (I had a rather
loose-sitting shirt on) and the way I was sitting, one could see my
decoltée.

I understand that it wasn't on purpose, but my number one rule about what I wear is to not expose anything that I don't want others to be able to see.

Now let me take some time here on this phrase...

Although I understand that looking at other people is quite normal,
not only did my mentor stare at my chest, he then also leaned back and
laughed in an arrogant kind of tone.

From here I want to first thank you for this:

Although I understand that looking at other people is quite normal,

Thank you for understand the fact that it is reasonable for people to be attracted to each other. You understand that this in fact is not harassment (in my honest opinion), but now this:

not only did my mentor stare at my chest, he then also leaned back
and laughed in an arrogant kind of tone.

This behavior is clearly unacceptable. If he had looked and even lingered that would be fine. Staring isn't.

he still looks at my body in quite discomforting ways (I see him
staring at my backside, my waist etc.).

Again, attraction = normal, continuously staring (to a point that it is even obvious to you) not OK.

I wouldn't tag it as harassment to be honest, just uncomfortable. If he makes comments or ever tried to be close enough to you to touch you, that would undoubtedly be harassment.

The crude jokes at work are just simply unacceptable, no discussion about it.

When we discuss work from a female scientist, the tone is quite
different than when work from a male scientist is discussed. Again, I
am well aware that we all have biases

Again, amazing that you can look past yourself and admit that we all have biases, you could obviously have been bias when observing their behavior related to the female scientist. I wouldn't even go with sexism in this case (even if that is the case), there should not be violent outburst about any scientist, no matter gender, race or age!

All in all, you are amazing and well equipped to deal with life, this place needs to change. Talk to your department head, this is your opportunity to research something you like, this is your funding, do not let them ruin it for you!